It was the last day Daniel, my dearest Aussie cousin, spent in his lovely homeland, of his trip this year.

out of no where, Jeanne started with ” wanye, so… do u left any bf behind in penang island?”

i consider it for a while. and finally decide to tell them my lil secret story in Hong Kong.

Jeanne remain in deep thought, later after i ended my story

” well… at least u tried before..” while Daniel busy looking at the signboard to Changi.

promptly, after few sec of angel pass-by freeze,

Jeanne mouth out, “hn’g… Bastard.”

we look at each other and laugh eventually.

“well, i analyze the consiquences and how he behaves. But i choose to start this so-called relationship with this guy. i shall not blame anyone when it turns out bad or may be worse than i expected..” i replied.

Jeanne as a singaporean, studied in Australia, then start to point out attitudes from some of the singaporean guy she knew and comment on them.

we then ended our Guy Topic at the last piece of raw beef at dinner on Nick, the other guy friend who is a lawyer in singapore.   

well, sometimes i allowed myself to be ” wrong” to keep my rational away and please my own feelings.

This time, i knew it was a big wrong, from the slap of myself, on the sec i saw his photo with a lady inside the wallet, while he is paying for our dinner.  

where i told myself strictly not to repeat it again.

i knew i have to control myself to drop into it deeply. i choose to say goodbye at the last day of the year.

I lost something, at the meanwhile, i gain too.

At least, i was a volunteer teacher to unwealthy children when i was in Hong Kong

whereas opening up ur hand when cycling

just to feel the wind 

to me, it is the feeling of freedom.

Today, i visited pulau ubin, a small fishing village near changi, all by myself.  

for how long on earth, i have been never cycle for decade.

by paying the rental shop SGD 6, there it is, me , a bicycle, a map and a LOMO.

nothing fansy about the island actually.

but, that’s what i fansy about.

well, accept it, another weirdo stuff i have inside.

unlike in the city, along the country road,

i was surrounded by bird whispers

and some insects languages

after the corner of no where road,

i found a small yard with an old man fishing beside the lake.

this is the time i stop for a couple snaps of photo.

mother nature.

the only thing that would release me from month of 12 hours pick up tasks,

and also hundreds of issues emails and phone calls.

well! i am fully charge now!

as my colleague said to me once we took MRT together,

“hey you! see u at the war, tomorrow”

说我三十岁前人生 所拥有的一切 都是短暂

工作 爱情 金钱

谈了两场不知所谓的爱情

根本算不上恋爱吧

那好像是让自己受伤的折磨经验

换了好几份工作

好不容易 存到钱了

投资 车祸 生病

我不想把自己想得太悲

就这样 不断 不断 不断 的努力

受伤了 再来 又受伤

又有谁 可以了解 我也许累了

或 也许 我想放弃了

然后 在这个 不为人知的角落

安静的抱怨

曾经经历过家爆的她 小时候

被酗酒的妈妈虐待

后来对爱情依赖 到失去 一路走来的坎坷

我 一面看 一面吃 然后一面哭

很少人能够去横量

家暴小孩对安全感的需要度有多高

还有 家暴小孩对失去感情的害怕指数有多高

在爱情里 经历家暴的小孩总是忍让与配合

只要另一方可以确定给与幸福和安全感

不管什么条件 为期多久 都愿意接受 要什么都给你

只要能换取到 最渴望的 一段从来没有拥有过的幸福，

“安全”与 不用 “担心”的日子

那怕只有哪么一天  

很难想象吧

正是为什么 看着六月的访问

我哭得稀里哗啦的

我想 要走出小时候的那件事情

并没有想象的容易啊

为幸福的未来

加油啊

在星加坡 租了间六零年代就有的三房式组屋

正楼下就是菜市场

每天 天还没亮 就会听见楼下早市小贩的堆车声

唏唏唰唰的

看来并没有他们所谓的星加坡人的冷漠

小贩阿姨 会笑着谈笑风声 关心寒暄

就连隔壁家餐聚 也会为我们两个单身女孩留个份

昨天上班下了场长命雨

平常在家娇生惯养 一年也用不上一次雨伞

雨伞根本不是我必备的用品之一

在人行道前等着绿灯亮起

突然 雨怎么停了

原来是隔壁印裔邻居靠了过来 借了半边伞给我

抹掉星国人的冷漠与爱投诉的外层 其他的 还好啊

不过 这也可以是我的天真

换成黄展文先生 他一定说

“你以为他酱好？他对你好 你下次不就一直帮他买roti planta 咯 然后算你贵贵”

哈哈 看来要融入这个社会 我还需要多了解他们的思维方式

yes, i am in singapore.

a singapore chemical logistic company called up last week saying they would like to have a face to face interview.

thanks chris for dismentling her japanese style sofa bed, and marvin who show me the way to jurong east.

nothing much but pipes, huge tanks and petroluem shores in this small no cameras allowed tree-less island.

i stood at the bus stop for an hour after the meeting.

Finally..thank god! A shuttle bus finally pass by and pick me up.

thanks to the good guy who asked the driver to wait for me when i am collecting my passport at the check point.

see! i met a good and friendly singaporean. but chris stop my words with her sure and confirm expression, by saying : trust me gal, he is not a singaporean.

haha! she meant no offences.

she is right, over 80% of the employee on the island itself, were foriegner. so the chances of ‘ the guy is a singaporean’ is quiet low.

anyway, no matter who you are, thanks   see! i believe everyone who stepped into my life were good people although some of them were being judged with a big ”NO”. 

oh ya. chris cooked crocodile soup for dinner today.

hmm.. it is nice, and it taste like chicken!

its time for me to sleep now, yawn~

 ciao!

说不上是个天赋的摄影者

不过 摄影与素描一样

陪伴度过了十个年头

自从爸爸七年前

买了我的第一架数码相机

就一直把相机摆在身边

到现在 爱上了胶片摄影

拥有了第三 第四个古董相机

摄影 就犹如我的记事本一样

神奇的帮我记录每一个画面

想看的时候 就一个一个记忆卡打开的

七年来 我的人生好比摄影

从一个傲慢 高傲的高角度 自以为是

到朴实的低角度 而得到的快乐满足

这不正是 我们人生经历的各种角度

从自己的角度分析 也从别人的角度看事情

不过 低角度照的画面 还是我的最爱

我又胖了两公斤

肥到~

买了盒减肥茶

我还没喝呢 咦 谁打开了啊

是我 爸爸说

原来 爸爸也会怕胖

才发现

我有个可爱的六十岁父亲

因为 那是你会为我煮的早餐

昨晚 两颗蛋 解了半夜的饥饿

你还会想起我吗？

多想可以牵牵你的手 散散步

然后再看场电影 吃个晚餐

我的要求 并没有你想的那么复杂

我想 你压根都没有想到 你会对我有多大的影响吧

可是 你就是对我很好啊

不管 你是不是真心的

我就是会那么笨的接受

该忘记你了 虽然还是单身的

但也该为自己的目标 事业 家庭 前进了

盘川用尽 女儿不肖

所以今年 我只能简单 但非常花时间的

缝了一个金福给你们

我想有本事的孩子 都会带钱回家吧

谢谢你们这次 宽容我的任性

也谢谢你们明白

有些事情 我看不过眼 过不了良心那一关

不说你们 我自己也搞不懂自己是笨 还是原则

我的人生啊 还真不容易

有时候在想

也许 同流合污 会好过点日子

不说这个

话说 孩子亲手缝制的福

可以添福 添寿

我今年希望

财 丰衣 足食 就好

最重要的是 还是 身体健康 ：）